Invisible
by Inuyasha loves sake
Summary: Oneshot, songfic. Lloyd's POV. Shounen ai, LxG. Spoilers. OMG REALLY SAPPY! XD


**DISCLAIMER!** Namco, Kosuke Fujishima, and Clay Aiken.

**WARNINGS!** Um! Um! Shounen-ai? WAFF! And TWT (timeline, what timeline?).

**SPOILERS!** Eh, you know what? It'd be better off if you just beat the whole game. I can't think to pin-point where in the game these spoilers lie. Don't forget those side-quests too!

**A/N:** Mn, I think Lloyd might be a little OOC. Unless you think of him as Ryuuichi-esque, where he puts up a stupid front but REALLY he knows what's goin' down.

Italics are the lyrics, I think that's obvious enough. The song is Invisible by Clay Aiken.

**xxx**

I'm such an idiot. I mean, granted, everyone tells me that all the time, but I figure most times they're frusterated, letting off steam. I don't try to take it too personally. But I look at you tonight and, damn, I must be out of my mind even considering someone like you could love me.

One of my favorite things to do is watch you sleep, which is easy since more often than not we camp out, half of the time with me as the night watch. Sometimes I just want to reach out and touch you, stroke your soft hair; but I can't. I know I can't. What if someone catches me? What if you woke up? What if you hated me for it...

I couldn't bear that.

So I sit and I watch, unable to do or say anything of my true feelings.

xx

_Whatcha doin' tonight?_

_I wish I could be a fly on your wall_

_Are you really alone?_

_Who's stealin' your dreams?_

_Why can't I breathe you into my life?_

_What can I do to make you see that I'm alive?_

xx

I try not to look at you; I make excuses and try to get away from you whenever I can. If anyone ever mentions it to me I simply feign ignorance. I'm sure you've noticed it too, how I avoid you, and I just hope it doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts me. Because, God, it hurts me. I know it's probably wrong and you'd be completely disgusted if you found out but, I can't help the way I feel. I want you so bad.

I love you.

xx

_If I was invisible then I could just watch you in your room_

_If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight_

_If thoughts were unbreakable then I could just tell you where I stand_

_I would be the smartest man if I was invisible_

_Wait, I already am_

xx

That time in Sybak when they said they were going to execute you, my heart stopped. The race across the bridge to catch up to you was the scariest time of my life. What if we hadn't made it? So many things could've gone wrong- it could've taken us too long to escape, or what if we didn't have Undine to save us from falling? I couldn't care less what happened to me...but who would've been there to save you?

And then there's Mithos. He hurt you so much, betrayed your trust. You thought you'd finally found someone like you, and he just destroyed your dreams. Well, I made that bastard pay. I don't ever want to see you cry anymore. I'll always protect you, because you are my life.

xx

_I saw your face in the crowd_

_I call out your name, you don't hear a sound_

_I keep tracing your steps, each move that you make_

_Wish I could read what goes through your mind_

_Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life_

xx

But even now, as we head towards the nearest town for a much needed good night's rest, I'm keeping my distance. You're up front, leading the group with Raine and Colette, whereas I'm trailing behind, lost in my thoughts. So unlike myself.

Sheena nudges me and says quietly, "Hey, are you alright?"

Again I act as if the world is peachy, and reply, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" As added effect I throw in some wide, blinking, innocent eyes. I don't think it really fools her, but enough to stop bugging me.

There's a clearing of the small wooded area up ahead and a path suddenly appears. The others rejoice, complaints of weariness and various aches among them. We immediately check into the nearest hotel; I don't recognize the interior. Is it possible that we've never been here before, or am I just so out of it that I can't even tell what town we're in?

Raine's going on about the sleeping arrangements, I'm not really paying attention. Wollowing in my own misery is more like it.

xx

_If I was invisible then I could just watch you in your room_

_If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight_

_If thoughts were unbreakable then I could just tell you where I stand_

_I would be the smartest man if I was invisible_

_Wait, I already am invisible_

xx

"And Lloyd...you can stay with Genis."

I snap my head up, and just stare at her. DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT? "I what?"

Raine crosses her arms, annoyed, "I said, you can stay with Genis."

...THIS IS A CONSPIRICY! I KNOW they did this on purpose. Everyone thinks we got into a fight, and if we have some time along we can talk about it and everything'd be fine again. AUGH! THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO ME!

xx

_I reach out, but you don't even see me_

_Even when I scream out, baby you don't hear me_

_I am nothing without you, just a shadow passing through_

xx

So Raine, as the strict mother figure, sends everyone to bed. Zelos complains, makes a dirty quip, and leaves with a big hand print on his face, but the others do so obediantly. Me, on the other hand- I'm a nervous wreck. I don't wanna go in there- I just don't! WHY CAN'T I GO SLEEP WITH NOISHE?

"Lloyd, you coming?"

That sweet, angelic voice. I'm almost afraid to turn around. "Uh, y-yeah. Be there in a minute."

So I make my way into the room, slowly, hesitantly. I'm getting there though, right? Just swallow everything- just pretend he's not there! Yeah!

I make a bee-line for the bed and jump in- without stopping to remove my shoes or anything- pulling the covers up over my head.

That wasn't so bad.

But I can feel his gaze on me- oh crap, was that too suspicious? I hear rustling and I know he's in bed too. Thank God it's too dark out to really see anything. If anything else, it'll hide how red my face is.

xx

_If I was invisible then I could just watch you in your room_

_If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight_

_If thoughts were unbreakable then I could just tell you where I stand_

_I would be the smartest man if I was invisible_

_I'd make you mine if I was invisible_

xx

We sit in silence for what must be at least a half an hour. My eyes have adjusted to the dark so I can see the room almost clearly now. I roll over to my other side so that I can look at Genis. He looks so beautiful as he sleeps, long lashes resting against his cheeks. How I wish I could be closer to him.

I let out a frusterated sigh. I just can't take it anymore. I can't keep these feelings all to myself. It's tearing me up inside.

"I love you, Genis," I whisper into the night, rolling over onto my other side again so that I wouldn't stare at him any longer.

-

-

"...I love you too, Lloyd."

**xxx**

**A/N:** ... -cries- I hate doing sappy shit! It makes me all "AWW!" and I don't wanna be like that! ...No I will not stop writing it! LOVE THE SAPPINESS! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!


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